Oh and what do you guys think of psychology or hospitality?

Edit: Alright so my thinking is a little out of control. Sue me. No, you know what.. just kill me right here. Just shoot my head.

Thoughts are so powerful. They can affect the way you react and the way you perceive.


Words are so powerful. They come from thoughts, they can break a person's heart or mend it back.


Actions are so powerful. They come from words, they create your past and create your near future.


Habits are so powerful. They come from actions, they are the things that are hard to get rid of. They may benefit you or pull you down.


Destiny is so powerful. Reaped from habit and cannot be overcome. And all this starts with just a thought.

So becareful of your thoughts and becareful of your intentions.

I'm sorry I wasn't.

Envy. An emotion that occurs when a person lacks something that another has and wishes to possess it, to have it. Envy is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. According to Wikipedia, "envy is the pain or frustration caused by another person having something that one does not have oneself." - One word that is different from the other word jealous, which, according to Wiki again, is the fear of losing something to another person (a loved one in the prototypical form).

So are you an envious being? I am. Infact, I think I am easily envious of many things many people have. I might envy those who are richer or have their own cool gadgets like a laptop, hand-held games, bigger room, own bathroom, etc. etc. But rarely is my envy something materialistic. What and whom I envy are those who have natural talents or beauty or both brains and brawn put together. And I am also easily jealous.

If you think you do not envy anyone, or have never envied before, think again. It is only natural for humans to feel so; to become a green-eyed monster every once in a while. It is an emotion we possess. More still when we are in a competitive world. However, it is an emotion we should keep under control. To be envious, is to sin. When you envy, you tend to hate. And if there is no further control, that hate may turn into wrath (which is also in the list of the Seven Deadly Sins). That wrath may lead to something else.

So change this envy into kindness or admiration. If the other is better than you in something, don't dwell in self-pity or in Envy's chokehold. You might be better than the other at something else. Everyone has their own strengths. For all you know, someone else might be envying or admiring you for something you can do well. Let go of Envy and its desires and be confident in you.

"Let us not be conceited; let there be no rivalry or envy of one another."- Galatians 5:26

For months I have gotten to know you and I slowly fell in love. My heart, which I kept so guarded, was taken away from its jail and landed up in your palms. But we were too young to start, we both knew it. So we danced around each other instead, randomly playing with each other's feelings. Yet we got closer. And one day I asked you out.

Our first date, something I will never forget. How can I when I loved you terribly so? I have been meaning to ask you to be mine for sometime. However, my fear overtook me and stopped me from doing so. And that day… that day I finally found courage to help me. You said you would think about it. My hope fell. Were you thinking of rejecting me? Why do you have to think if you love me so? For those few days, I was restless, silently praying for the best. I tried to study your actions but that only filled my head with more worries. Oh Samantha, the day you said yes I was so relieved! And I was overjoyed.

This love for you grew, Samantha. It grew and I did not care. Did not see where this would go, did not think about it. All I knew is that I was happy and I felt lucky having you. For years I have waited for you, Samantha. And I finally have you. The arguments that came, I did not pay much heed. After all, what kind of relationship does not have arguments or disagreements? I knew more about you, your talents, your fears, your thinking. I started thinking like you too. I started to be one with you. I did not know how this love would turn out, Samantha.

That day when we broke up over a stupid argument was the day that shattered me. It shattered us both. We did not even get a few things straight. You left with my heart and I was left with a head full of questions. My veins were then filled with anger and depression. Wasn't I good enough? Shouldn't I have done that? Perhaps I could have stopped the break up. Why did I only think about it when everything is over? And you even filled me with the hope that maybe we could get back together again. I was so ready for it. I waited for you like waiting for rain in the desert. My love for you was not broken yet.

Before I realised it, my love turned into obsession over you. You seemed to be doing better than me, Sam. I followed the news about you. I knew where you went, I read about your growing talents. How you became a model to how you were growing as a singer. Your pictures are amazing and your songs are great. I knew your talents would get you far someday. I was happy when you called to ask me how I was. Despite your busy schedule you did not fail to know about your old flame. At that time I couldn't help thinking, "Am I still your flame?"

Unfortunately you disappointed me again and again. I found that you had so many fans, so many suitors, and so many admirers. What am I compared to them? When I needed you, you weren't there. You were busy with your work; practically married to it. And like a foolish man waiting for water to fall from the sky in the desert instead of looking for it, I was slowly dying of thirst.

One day I finally decided I can't do this to myself any longer. I tried to break my habit; my obsession with you. And like a blind man who had just gotten new eyes, I slowly adjusted to my surroundings; my life without you, without being blinded anymore. No doubt, I still look forward to hearing your voice, to seeing your face, to have you smile at me, but I began to let those go, one by one. Obsession is a hard thing to get over.

Then I met her. She makes me smile again, Sam. I'm even laughing for real! You can't imagine how free I feel, released from your binding chains. It feels like I have been underwater for too long and am now taking my first breath of fresh air. She is nothing like you. Not as pretty as you, but I find her beautiful. Not as talented as you, but I can see something growing.

"Come out and spend time with me, Jake."

Why do you want to patch things up now? Of course I don't feel for her what I felt for you. Not yet anyway. Don't look at me that way, Sam. I am happy now and I am cured off my blindness. Or so I think. There will always be this small space for you in my heart. But other than that, I am moving on. Would a blind man go back to being blind again, Sam?

I am running ahead in this race and I wish you well.