There are times when we make mistakes. There is this time, when we make that one little mistake, and everything just crashes. There's no turning back, no delete button, and it just stays floating in front of your eyes with its taunting smile.

I am tired. I am tired of mistakes. I am unable to control the chemistry that runs through my body, unable to realise the impending danger up ahead. I am tired of myself; sorely disappointed. I made others disappointed in me.

Do you see this shell? Do you think you can read everything that lies beneath? Know the secrets? Know the behaviour? Know the habits? Even if you think you know almost everything, something still lurks underneath. When the time comes, it rises up, grabs hold of its victim and try to bring the victim down as far as it could go. Then it simply vanishes into thin air.

All I can only say is the word "sorry". Which I know, to you, does not mean much anymore. Too many sorries. Too little solutions. If there is anything I can do, I would prefer it if my mistake just slice me open, and let me bleed in open air, vulnerable and almost lifeless.

The Little Things by Colbie Caillat (may be a low quality. But the song is nice =D)

[V1:]
The little things, you do to me are
Taking me over, I wanna show ya
Everything inside of me
Like a nervous heart that, is crazy beating
My feet are stuck here, against the pavement
I wanna break free, I wanna make it
Closer to your eyes, get your attention
Before you pass me by

[Chorus:]
So back up back up take another chance
Don't you mess up mess up I don't wanna lose you
Wake up wake up this ain't just a thing that you
Give up give up don't you say that I'd be
Better off better off, sleeping by myself and wondering
If I'm better off better off, with out you boy

So don't just leave me hanging on

[V2:]
And every time, you notice me by
Holding me closely, and saying sweet things
I don't believe, that it could be
You speaking your mind and, saying the real thing
My feet have broke free, and I am leaving
I'm not gonna stand here, feeling lonely but
I don't regret it, and I won't think this
Was just a waste of time

[Chorus]

But don't just leave me hanging on.....

Love is without boundaries.

Love is patient.

Love is kind.

Love is understanding.

Love is gentle.

Love is peaceful.

Love is generous.

Love is joy.

Love is not the fast beating of the heart, or sweaty palms. Love is not the desire to have of flesh against flesh. Love is never jealous, never angry nor sad. Love is... love is... what is love? Has anyone experienced true love? Perhaps.

But who (besides God) would love as purely as this?

Dedicated to my father who will be missed very dearly by many many people. In loving memory of him. (15 November 1948 - 29 November 2007)

---

Hear You Me (May Angels Lead You In) by Jimmy Eat World

There's no one in town I know

You gave us some place to go.

I never said thank you for that.

I thought I might get one more chance.




What would you think of me now,

so lucky, so strong, so proud?

I never said thank you for that,

now I'll never have a chance.




May angels lead you in.

Hear you me my friends.

On sleepless roads the sleepless go.

May angels lead you in.




So what would you think of me now,

so lucky, so strong, so proud?

I never said thank you for that,

now I'll never have a chance.




May angels lead you in.

Hear you me my friends.

On sleepless roads the sleepless go.

May angels lead you in.

May angels lead you in.

May angels lead you in.




And if you were with me tonight,

I'd sing to you just one more time.

A song for a heart so big,

God wouldn't let it live.




May angels lead you in.

Hear you me my friends.

On sleepless roads the sleepless go.

May angels lead you in.

May angels lead you in.

Hear you me my friends.

On sleepless roads the sleepless go.

May angels lead you in.

May angels lead you in.

Here's a looong post, after a looong time of being inactive!

Counting down til SPM starts. Kinda nervous.... OK, no. I'm very nervous. Can't believe I'm getting stressed over studies. I don't usually get stressed over studies! Must be the PMS talking. Hmm...

Well, well. Believe it or not, I actually s-t-u-d-i-e-d today! Yup yup. Did some memorizing work. Still feel it isn't enough though. I studied in front of the computer, then decided to study in the living room. Less distractions. Haha! Suddenly couldn't focus anymore so I moved my butt to the piano seat.

Piano is relaxing~

And do you know what's awesome? Dad actually calmed my nerves! I've been stressed out about what he would think of my results and how he would if I didn't meet a high standards and all. But he told me that I should forget the books, forget my stress, treat my SPM like any other normal exam, and play more piano. It isn't my results that he's looking for, it's how far I can go. Even if I get 3A's, that's alright. Cause I'll still be continueing my studies. You have no idea how glad I am to hear that. I heart my dad. <3

I'm still gonna continue studying anyway. Just to see how far I can go. However, lunch was spoiled by my dad not letting me to go Pangkor with my friends in Dec. *sigh* I was so looking forward to it and one tiny needle bursted my bubble. Felt so incredibly disappointed.

My darkness was brightened by Goat though. =D Just went out of the house without waiting to hear my parents object and hanged at his place. We tried to study. Landed up wasting our time. Haha! Also, had a party after that. It was quite dull at first, but as the night grew older, things got wilder! Yeeeaaaahhhhhh... I can't believe I started dancing to indian songs, but... what the heck. Party's meant for enjoyment and it feels sooo good dancing. The guard at the guardhouse nearby started it all by just jumping into the middle of our human made circle and danced like no one's there! The night ended with Charades!!! Girls vs Guys. It was an action-packed comedy. One of my favourite moments of all time. Great game.

I'm so tired now. Just gonna SMS a while before doozing off.