Just a slight intermission between updates. Just so I can have a chance to blab out stupid insecurities, nonsensical ideas, and probably some disturbing facts. This won’t be anything else but rants and complaints. Okay so here goes.

I believe I might be close to a panic attack or a break down. Not the metaphorical, imaginative ones everyone talks about in times of stress and they are just saying it to relieve themselves, but the real one. You know, the one where you actually have physical symptoms and need some sort of technique or clinical help to calm you down?

I feel like I am so screwed right now. About a week from now, on the 29th of November 2010, final exams will be here. I have over 4 subjects to cover with about, I think, 12-14 chapters each and tons of journals to read through. I had started studying on the 2nd week of November, fooled around a bit (quite an understatement), and oh lookie, happy me, covered only 1 topic of 1 subject. I haven’t done any other. And oh goodness, the journal that I am reading right now never seems to end! Why can’t researchers just bloody get to the point?!

Every time I take a short break from reading or to do something (like what I am doing now), I feel like there’s this sense of impending doom. I’m doomed. I have this little stress that I carry in my head throughout the whole entire day and it doesn’t go away.

The worse is that after resting a little bit, when I look at the books, I feel like I just want to quit. I want to stop studying, stop working (which I will be doing later tonight), just stop everything and lie down and do nothing. Yup, nothing. I. am. so. tired. Geez, and classes keep going on even if lectures are over. Lecturers, PLEASE GIVE US A BREAK!

I am really not looking forward to 29th November, even if it meant exams are here and it will be over soon so that I can enjoy myself, because I am not ready. I feel like I’m the most not-ready-for-exam-student among all my friends (whom seem to be doing very well with their studying so far). I want a hug, I want to procrastinate longer, and I want everything that doesn’t deal with freaking finals.

And here I thought this would be a short post. Alright, time to go.

The superhero was always less seen nowadays. At one point when he was gone, the little girl went up to the mother and asked, "When is Papa coming back?"

Her mother, slender in body, hands worn and tried from housework, stopped her chore for a moment to look at the little girl clad in just her pyjamas and bare footed on that cool day. The lady's lips curved up in amusement.

"Soon," she told the little girl. Then, she continued on squeezing wet clothes from the red pail before her and hung them up to dry. There were more things to do after this; to sweep the house, to mop the floor, to cook a meal for her three children, to make sure that the little girl has her bath (for it was strange she dislike going to bath), to boil some water as well as prepare for tomorrow's breakfast for the children to take to school. Endless.

The little girl, not knowing this, still stood in front of her mother, waiting for something interesting to happen. Her mind wandered off to where her father was. She did not know where, but she knew it was quite far. And would he bring back toys like he did last time? Would he hug her? Would he tuck her in bed? She anticipated them. "I miss him," she said, and padded off away to play with her toys.

The slender lady, known as the little girl's mother, looked up from her work one more time to absent mindedly watch her little girl pull her bright yellow toy phone around. She sighed. Her husband was getting more and more busy lately, what with five mouths to feed and wanting a good education for the children. They were so lucky. But none of them realised it yet. She was certain though, that one day soon, they will know. Hopefully, she thought to herself, that one day will come soon.

By night, the family had dinner without the superhero. There were jokes and laughter thrown around by the mother and older daughter. But the little girl sat in silence, poking at the brocolli that looked like miniature trees, wondering when her superhero will be back.

By bedtime, it was the slender lady who tucked them all in. There were no stubles to tickle her, no goodnight kisses, and no fairytales.

The fan whirred at constant speed. The little girl lifted up her wide brown eyes to look at a man sitting opposite her, pot-bellied with a grim expression and focused on the television set. The couch beneath her was getting warmer, the clock showed that it was almost time for bed and she was certain she could not sit still a moment longer. And so she did not for she got up from the black leather couch and went to her room as quick as her short little legs would allow her to. Having reached into her cupboard, she pulled out a thick, hard cover book that was as big as her torso and then headed back to the living room where he man was still intently watching his movie.

"Papa, tell me a story," she asked of him. The man's eyes had finally lifted itself from the screen and down to the little girl hugging the big book, palms just a little too small to fit its width. The corners of his mouth lifted and amused was he of his little girl, he carried her, sat her unto his lap and put his arms around her. He helped open the precious book that was in her hands and turned to a story that he knew she had heard before.

"One day, there was a man whose wife had died and left him a daughter. He had remarried a widow who had two daughters of her own," he read. The little girl listened intently in silence to his low yet clear voice as she read along the text in the book. True, she had heard this before. Who would not have heard of Cinderella? She love though to simply be with him. By the time the story ended she was feeling drowsy. The book closed and she was brought to her room. The little girl gave the man a hug and he kissed her goodnight right after tickling her with his prickly stubble by rubbing his chin against her cheek. She had always giggled whenever she felt that prickly yet ticklish sensation on her skin. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

The day ended just like that. She was happy it was so. Her father, the strong superhero of a man, was the man she loved very much and she felt safe and secure just knowing he was there.

Here's something about restaurants you might want to know.

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Who doesn’t love eating out? It’s great not to have to cook for yourself, but it can also be anxiety-inducing to think about someone else cooking for you. Just what happened to the food before it arrived on our table? Was the meat handled correctly? Did the cook wash his hands? Frankly, some of the common practices of the food service industry might surprise the average customer. I talked to some seasoned industry professionals to discover what words of wisdom they had about the behind-the-scenes scene at their favorite spot. It’s helpful advice, but best not to read on a full stomach.

1. Don’t Be the Last Table of the Night
Most servers complain about the party who walks in at five minutes ’til closing time, but what makes late-night dining ill-advised isn’t the inconvenience. Besides being a pain, it’s doubtful that the food will be very good. By the end of the night, the kitchen is in full clean-up mode, so entrées are more likely to be haphazardly thrown together than carefully prepared. They’re using ingredients that were prepped hours ago, and cooking them in ovens or fryers that contain the accumulated buildup of an entire night’s service. Sometimes chefs cook and clean at the same time, increasing the likelihood of your steak being sprayed with drain cleaner or particulates from the bleach they’re using to mop the floor. Photo: Cedric's Pics (cc)

2. Vermin Happen
Any place where food is stored is going to attract pests, and in large cities with older infrastructure (like Boston or New York), vermin are simply an unpleasant fact. Most restaurants battle against it every day, but it’s inevitable that sometimes customers are going to see a roach or a rat. Rare is the restaurant where they’re not at least an occasional problem. Even clean restaurants can attract pests, so seeing one isn’t an indictment against the restaurant’s cleanliness. Usually, if it doesn’t seem like the kind of place that would have bug problems, it’s probably a more-or-less isolated incident. Sadly, though, there are indeed restaurants where the pests seem right at home. Ben, from New York, says, “Customers should try not to freak out if they see something, and if they can subtly point it out to a manager or server, they’ll probably get a freebie or two.” Photo: Big Fat Rat (cc)

.... To read more, click the link below.
Five Secrets Restaurants Don’t Want You to Know - DivineCaroline

This is a dedicated post to my Psycho Family from Sunway University College. I appreciate you people loads, and when needed, you psychos are there. Now, to know about my psycho family, I shall need to inform you of all the members, starting from the very top.


Granny/Nana/Nanny Vanessa

She's the oldest (according to family rank), the most long winded, most detailed, most "ma fan" person I know. Also, she likes to over use quotation marks. Leave them alone, Vanessa!



Relax, granny, relax.

She's really cheerful and bubbly. Her laugh is contagious. It sounds like a wicked witch, but nicer. There's this one time when I was feeling really low to the pits. I checked my mail and there's this mail of hers with a link to her blog(!only those with researching background may attempt to read her blog!). It cracked me up and made me laugh. So thank you, Granny, for that bit of insanity and laughter. Besides her insanity, I do think she gives good advice as well. I've seen her in action. Therefore, find granny when you need some opinions; she's got loads.


Uncle Ian

He's granny's first son. He's the uncle that splurge and brings back stuff from China for the whole family. He talks a lot and have the most questions next to granny in lectures. He likes pretty and sexy chicks only (ahem, ahem). Just joking (= He likes all women.



Opps, did I flip the pancake too hard?

Did I tell you he likes cooking and designing? What a great uncle! Due to three particularly horrible incidents, some of us had to remind him during an exam, "Check your pockets!". He's always offering to get things for us when he goes China. One time he gave me a pocket mirror for my birthday because in class I was looking for a mirror. Thank you, uncle, for that.


Auntie/Sister Fizah

In the same rank as Uncle Ian, we have Auntie Fizah. Sometimes she acts like a younger child and she thinks she's our sister (we still call her aunty). The confusion is probably due to Mommy and Daddy picking her up from pasar malam and never really establishing her role in the family. Therefore, she has identity crisis.



Emo-ing...

Quite pretty for a pasar malam auntie, eh? She always like to emo. But nowadays, it seems she has dropped her emo habit because apparently, "I've been looking for a lost key to unlock my very tiny heart~~ Finally, I FOUND it" (Noor Hafizah, 2010). Sudah cite, mak cik. She's very caring. I remember when I was doing my assignment last minute (one day before due date) and then she lecture me because I haven't even started the Introduction/Literature Review. She gave me an SMS to remind me to start it and finish it. Next morning, get more scolding from her because I haven't finish it yet. Ganas oh this auntie.


Daddy

Note to Daddy: Do you know how hard is it to find good solo pictures of you? I was choosing between a drug addict picture and a picture of your serious face eating cake with cake clinging to the side of your head. After more searching, I gave up, and ended up choosing this horrible one:



Phantom of the Opera's Son

Old picture for the win! Muah ha ha ha! Hm... so about daddy, he's a very concerned daddy. Very fierce and like to scold people. But also very easy to bully because of his soft heart as well as his love for his family. He's creative and lecturers love his brain. They wanted to preserve it, but were agonized when he escaped from their evil plans to extract his brain and went to Korea in hopes they will forget about their plans in 1 year's time. However he failed to realize that his escape plan means leaving 80% of his family behind to fend off the evil lecturers' brain washing scheme. Oh well, at least we're still surviving and still sane... I think.


Mommy

Next to Daddy is of course, Mommy. She has this rabbit in her possession that I just want to pinch, scratch, claw and squeeze due to it's overload of cute-ness. It's a stuffed toy, of course. I will never do those to a live animal. Say 'No' to animal cruelty. She's just as cute as the rabbit.



How to say "I love you" in Korean?

She is very bright, like a star. Always smiling and happy, not bothering people with her problems. In some ways she is also a very blur Mom. I think this is due to her late night sleeps. Sleep early ah, Mommy! Old already need to take care of yourself more.

She likes cold jokes a lot which the children do not understand at all. There was this one time when she asked "What does Bunny do not like to eat?". Me and Arinah came up with different sorts of answers (e.g. carrot, meat), but in the end she said the answer was "Bun". Why? It is because of Bunny's name. After telling the answer, Mommy proceeded to giggle (syok sendiri). However, me and Arinah just stared at each other blankly. I think it took us more than 10 seconds to fully understand it. We ended up laughing not because of the joke, but because both of us had blank stares while Mommy remained delightfully happy with her clever joke.


The Triplets

Finally we get to be introduced to the highlights of the family; the triplets. Below is a picture of the three children in order of oldest to youngest (from left to right).



Arinah, Mei Li, and Me. Clickable.

Nothing much to say about us. Just that we are not normal, I think we need counseling. Arinah Kakak is trigger happy, she laughs non-stop for no reason. Mei Li Jie is a Depressed, Random, Lying Cat (inside joke) and I am apparently a Crab by day, Vampire by night (wth). I do not know why I am the last. It is really sad. I will always get bullied by the other two. But I still love my sisters. *insert big happy smile here*

Here is our family tree that we (the triplets) made:



Slowly figure out which balloon is who

That's all about my lovely Psycho family. The ones who stuck with each other through thick, thin, long and short. Remember our karaoke sessions; how we made Daddy sing "Barbie Girl"? Remember when we wanted to strangle the person who hurt Arinah? Remember the night in the train and that we wanted to send someone off to Thailand? Remember we were so hard working on climbing 300 steps in Langkawi just to reach the waterfall and when we reached, thought that wasn't the place and climbed some more? Remember who broke the bed in Penang and who looked so p-r-e-t-t-y with make-up on? Remember whose facial expressions was so expressive and thoughts were so abstract? Remember who thought that the girl in the mirror was someone else? Remember who was so hardworking in getting to know some pretty ladies *winkwink*? Hehehe.

I hope that by reading this, all family members will smile on your sad days and have a laugh on the good days.

xoxox's.