What if I've never did that, say that or think that? What if you never do this, say this, or think this way?
So many what if's in my head. 
What if, what if, what if!
Driving me nuts. Sometimes I wish I could just say out all that's going on in my mind. The truth is you wouldn't want to hear it anyway.
So many turns and u-turns and corners that "could have happened", but things we didn't wish happened instead. Are there second chances? Is there a point where things will return to normal? Can this nonsense ever be resolved and over?
I'm disappointed, I'm sad, I'm hopeful. Sometimes I think it's okay, it's just a phase. Other days I think all hope is lost. It's like riding the waves, up down, up down. It never stops. Once a while you find the beauty in it, other times you're scared shitless about the consequences.
Stuck, held captive in a spot. Then somehow in some ways, able to move an inch away. Sometimes pulled back, sometimes managing to move further. The journey is the struggle. Would we fail or would we be successful in reaching total and complete healing?
Like predicting if weather at the end of the destination would be a nice one or a horrid one, the answer would only come when you arrive at the destination. When I arrive there, would I only know.  
~Joanna