Posts
"You see!!! I knew you could do it!" she beamed widely at me after four hours of hard practice on one of Chopin's pieces- by which the last few minutes, I managed to perfect it. Well, almost. My fingers felt like Jell-O and my brain felt like someone had stuck cotton in it but I was too happy to care how tired I felt. I did it. I turned my failure to a success. She took one of my tired hands, her smile never leaving her face. "Let's celebrate!"
Our celebration consisted of lying down on the field nearby, sipping Ribena. We were cloud watching. Like how we always do at this time of the day. I had just met her. It was just three weeks but I felt as if we knew each other for over three years. She was great. And I was way below great. I should feel inferior to her and her abilities, her charisma, her attractiveness. But she never made me feel that way. She was always pushing me to believe I could be better than what I am. That there was more than what I really am. And she proved it to me in so many different ways.
But she had a bad life. It was as if her whole smart and charming package had a price to pay. Her parents wanted to run her life like it was theirs. They expected too much from her. Get better grades, get better friends, look better, get a better job, and the list goes on and on and on. She started spending less and less time at home and more and more time trying to find a "family" that she belonged to. Her friends were no better. She had unfortunately mixed with the wrong crowd and they pushed her to do things she didn't want to or she'll be an outcast. And when one day, she couldn't meet to their "standards", they just left her. They jeered her, mocked her, threw insults at her and spreaded rumours about her. She was, in many people's eyes, an outcast. A made believed version of the rumours about her. Since then on, she always spent time at a field, just watching clouds.
That was when she met me. I was having a hard time too. Two lonely, different people at the same place and at the same time. We just seem to click. I told her about my pathetic life, but she never told me about hers. I had to peel off skin after skin, one by one to get to know how deep and hollow she really is. In the meantime, she tried to build up the broken building that I was. She cleaned my wounds and healed my pain. So here we were, under the fluffy white clouds, smiling at each other and not caring if our watches were announcing every second that passes us by.
That had been several months ago. Now, here we are. Life has gotten tougher and more complicated for both of us. I don't deny the fact that I have fallen for her and maybe she for me. Rumours had started and jeers had been made. Her parents found out and were just ashamed. They couldn't accept the fact that their daughter is with someone like me. That she accepts people like me. That she had disgraced herself and her family. They couldn't accept it until they couldn't accept her. She is not their daughter anymore.
Though I had heard her complain many times, though I had witnessed her releasing her anger, I've never seen her cave in, break down and shatter to a million pieces. Like she did just now. No matter what I did or said, she just acted as if I was invisible. Four trying hours of being with a highly emotional female who barely notices I was there. I felt that it was just hopeless being there. I was the cause of all the problems so maybe it was best I leave. But I couldn't leave her. No, not her. I put my arm around her and whisper in her ear, "I'm always there for you like you were for me. You'll get through this."
Her head turns slowly and she looks at me. Her eyes are searching mine. Then, she smiles and turned back to staring at the wall. It is small, barely noticeable. But it is a smile. And for that moment, that brief moment, I want to hold onto that second, wishing it didn't pass us by.
