Musings of Joadele: 2012

Anesidora had a little box of treasures. It was made from dark, solid wood that was cleverly designed to only open with a special key it came with. Inside the box held many surprises from day to day. Sometimes, it would contain beautiful jewelleries. Other times, and more abstractly, it would give Anesidora the feeling of joy for the whole day. There are times that the little box of treasures, once opened, contained spells that would give her tears and sorrow.

Anesidora grown to like this little box of treasures, even though there were still suffering, but the joys that it contained seem to please Anesidora more than anything else. There was a time when Anesidora was experimenting with some spells when it backfired and ricochet off the walls of the laboratory. There was a terrible, resonating sound that foretold the crumbling of the room and Anesidora tried to salvage as many precious items as she can from it. One of the items, happened to be the little box of treasures. She had gotten out just in time before the laboratory walls came falling apart and would have killed her instantly were she to stay in.

Saddened by the devastation, Anesidora turned to her little box of treasures. "Perhaps, it would give me some joy," she thought.

She inserted the special key and turned the lock. Only, to her surprise, it did not open as it usually does. Perplexed, she tried to turn the key again and again. It did not open. She cried, "Oh, box of treasures! Are you affected by the failed spell too?"

So comes the trials for Anesidora to open the box. She had tried to prying it open, hammering it, throwing it against the cold hard wall, and even the spells that she knew could work on any type of lock. Alas, it was futile. Not a dent was on the box, save for small scratches after what has been done to it. Truly, the box could only be opened by the special key. And oh, what horror to Anesidora that the special key could not work any more!

Day after day, Anesidora tried opening the little box of treasures with the key, hoping that one day the enchantment would return and the box would open. But day after day, there was only the click of the turn, but not the opening of the box. Anesidora was devastated, but she kept on trying.

One night, Anesidora returned to the little box as usual and examined it pensively. For a long time, the box has given her wealth beyond her imagination. This time, the box was giving her more sorrow. The inability to open it saddened her more than the devastation of her laboratory. Had the enchantment fail because of her experiments? Or was it already the maximum that the box could give her? With a heavy heart, she took the box in her hands and walked to the nearby window. She bundled the special key with the little box and threw it out the window, which fell into the river which carried it away, far away from her.

Perhaps this little box of treasures, would open up to a different person to share what it was to give. Or perhaps, if there ever was fate for her, she would find the little box of treasures again, to enjoy the wealth it was ready to give.

And she closed her eyes, to melt the sadness away. Then she turned and headed to rebuild her laboratory again.

~Joanna

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, by Joadele

In thoughts,

Whirling

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, by Joadele

In personal life, thoughts

Being Friends With An Ex

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, by Joadele

The Ending

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, by Joadele

In thoughts,

Conflicts

Conflicts are a tricky thing. Sometimes you know what's going on on your side, but clueless about what's going on on the other side. Or there are cases whereby you are aware about what's going on on the other side, but feel lost and confused on your side. Other times, you know what is going on and both your side and the other side, but it is the other party that is unaware of what exactly is happening. It's okay if none of this makes sense. It probably means you do not have to go through much conflict (yet). Or I am being too vague, but I haven't really got the time to sit and think how to make this more understandable.

Then there is the part where you have to decide whether or not you want to solve the conflict. Is the conflict worth solving? Does it jeapordize chances of working opportunities or even good relationships? Once you've figured that out, then comes the matter of how to approach the problem. Here is where I sometimes find it frustrating. I hate conflicts. Of course, no one really likes conflicts, but I really detest it to the core. Simply because of the hassle it brings or the way people act in it. There are people who, in a conflict situation, come full force into it, trying to make things clear by debating it to the ground with their opponent, but never seem to open up their minds to a different perspective besides their own. Then there are people who pretend everything is okay, act nice and then do whatever is possible to get rid of their frustration festering inside of them without facing the problem or person they have issues with. I don't know which is worse, the one that attacks head on or the one that hides behind your back and makes faces (metaphorically speaking).

Personally, I think problems with people or things that matter really should be solved A.S.A.P. However, there are times when situations do not allow it, or the other side just wants to shut out for the moment or have nothing to do with it at all. What's left is to push it or leave it. In time perhaps, things would stand right again. We will learn something new from the event and grow.

Things might fall apart and break, but there's the option of gluing it back together or move on and get something new. What can be salvaged, we shall salvage. What cannot be fixed no matter how you try, it is better to save the effort and time.

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, by Joadele

In thoughts,

Expectations

Expectation. A belief on a future, something or someone. We go through life with expectations all the time. Some of us expect to get terrific marks in examinations, while others are just expecting to just reach the passing mark. Some of us expect to have a full-time job by the time we hit our twenties (or even earlier), while others expect something different. It is great to have expectations. At least we know there's a bar line that we need to hit. Some sort of performance that we need to meet to have that sense of satisfaction or glory. Without expectations there might not be creation of goals or wonderful achievements in life.

"Apart from a few starry-eyed poets or monks living on a mountaintop somewhere, however, we all have expectations. We not only have them, we need them. They fuel our dreams, our hopes, and our lives like some super-caffeinated energy drink.”
― Tonya Hurley, Homecoming

The thing about Expectation is that it may or may not be real. Expectation can breed Disappointment when Reality does not meet it. Expecting an online item to be just the same when you order it, expecting your lover to forever stay as romantic as he is, expecting the people around you to act the way you want them to- they all have the possibility to only breed you disappointment. I wonder as well, which is more stressful- putting your idealised expectations on others or having others put their expectations of you, on you? Thinking about it, relationships do sour when there's high expectations between just two individuals. Sometimes, in relationships- any sort of relationships (i.e. friendships, lovers, families)- expectations just seem to pull one party down and neither party could understand why the tension string is pulled. I guess the most stressful point of expectations is when you actually care about meeting other people's expectations of you.

“If you spent your life concentrating on what everyone else thought of you, would you forget who you really were? What if the face you showed the world turned out to be a mask... with nothing beneath it?”
― Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes

Worse, in my opinion, are selfish expectations on people. That's when you expect everything of someone and have nothing of what you expect from you to that someone. Then you get angered, frustrated and grow a disliking for him or her because he or she cannot meet what you expect. What you fail to realise is that you did not meet any of their expectations either, but they just take it as it is and move on while you lament about how they fail as being your idealised friend/partner/lover/parent/child/etc. Better yet, is when you carry around expectations of what an ideal person should be.

“When someone sees the same people every day, as had happened with him at the seminary, they wind up becoming a part of that person's life. And then they want the person to change. If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”
― Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life

Expectations effect happiness. I remember reading a Richard Lazarus stating that when a person goes through life with hardships and deprivation have happier thoughts about their life because of the positive expectation they set. On the other hand, a person that goes through a well off life think negatively about their life because of the negative expectation they use as a guide in their life. I also wonder if people are happier with lower expectations in life and unsatisfied people are like that because of high expectations that are rarely met?

“There were two ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your expectations”
― Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes

To some extent, some people cannot understand why on certain things, I do not set higher goals in life or have higher expectations of other people. They wonder how I could stay so patient when things do not go as "ideally" as possible. The thing is...