I feel like I'm setting myself up for trouble. 
At first it felt like a normal thing to do, diving into my easily built idealism. But when I'm back on the ground, I remember that there are other factors I've pushed to the back of my mind. 
Panicking softly in my mental state. As said, I acted without thinking. 
What am I doing?
~Joanna

~Joanna

Lesson learnt very early on before this conclusion is even written down. When you think you are helping someone, someone would not appreciate it because of the way you do things. When you think honesty is the best policy, even to someone close, they'd think you're just being mean and not understanding. No matter how hard you try to be not only a shoulder to cry on, but also someone to help nudge them in the right direction, even the closest, would not appreciate it.

People cannot predict you or your intentions. People are driven by their own logics and their own emotions. People are still human, even the closest ones. However, in my own mind and my own way, relationships are the most important bonds that would help overcome most conflicts. They would stop, think and consider that maybe some good intentions are there, or the acceptance that not everyone's mind is the same. Perhaps it's naivety, stupidity or perhaps just rarity of a thought like this. Therefore, I learnt very early on, that to some, relationships may not matter as much as their ambition, love or pride. 
And therefore, I am alone. When thought clearly about it, I have been mostly alone all along. Just fooled by the hope of a pure, naive thought.
There was a time when the heart had almost shut completely to this experience, knowing the truth. But as always, it would open up again, just like allowing blood to flow in and out. It is just that it did not open up completely. Skeptical and always aware, traits that refrain it from doing what it thinks is right. 
With some soul searching, it could be that there were certain things that I could have done better. I could have been wrong. Another lesson also learnt. Sometimes to the closest, support is all that is needed. Silence could be the most useful tool. Maybe the one that is blind is you, and you just need to stand by appreciating the person with sight. Who knows if good success could be attributed to your given support? Or perhaps, the other would need to go through an experience to understand what would your opinions be about.
Whatever it is, a pure, trusting relationship had been tainted long ago along this travelling road. After that, only comes a wind that sweeps away the faint debris of a companion. Then you are left walking through the woods (to be taken as something interesting and adventurous) , wondering if any other wind would come to sweep you away too. 
~Joanna

In this silence I sit.
In this silence I wonder.
In this silence I grasp at the thing called Peace.

It's quite hard to find peace nowadays, especially when thr Brain and the Heart won't stop screaming at each other.
But here, under this tree, in the most unexpected places, there is peace.

And I sit in the silence, inwardly smiling to myself. For the moment, there is peace.