Sometimes a heartbreak is just a heartbreak. You can piece it back together or you could let the pieces fly loose. Different people can break your heart for many different reasons. The people who are close to you, the person you thought you knew well ends up like the person you just met on the street. A complete stranger in that momentary time of hurt and anger.



Sometimes you take a heartbreak, other times you give them. Sometimes you wouldn't even realise how big of a crack you've done on one person's heart until that heart is broken into tiny little pieces. It's really hard when you want to glue them back together. Be it yours or someone else's.

Sometimes, when you've got your heart broken, glue it back together, get it broken again, glue it back together again and broken time and time again, you just learn how to live with it. Slowly, that heart break just become a normal, everyday occurance that becomes part of who you are, your invisible friend and very much an invisible foe that you try to fight. And because it is invisible, you tend to even forget it's there. Until when the time it decides to just remind you that it is right beside you, it pokes right through your nerves and that empty, hollow space you felt just fills up with sorrow. A push from that person you thought you knew well.

But sometimes, you're the one pushing. You're no longer the victim but the predator. And then your heart breaks just as the other person's heart does, because it's the person close to you. Because you never knew you had so much strength on someone's soul. Because you realise that it isn't the other that is the monster, but you.

A relationship is like a cycle. There are times when the other hurts you, and then there are times when you hurt the other right back. Is it endless? Is it just a phase? How much of a heart break can a soul stand? How much strength does one use? And would we get so used to it until we no longer notice it's even there?


But then, sometimes a heart break goes away because you realise just how much you love that person and just how much he means to you. Maybe, you're right. Or maybe, you're just being naive. Lost in your little world that no one, not even the person closest, would understand and appreciate.

I kinda like Incubus. Particularly this song. =) Love hurts, sometimes it's a good hurt~

Love Hurts

Tonight we drink to youth
And holding fast to truth
(I don't want to lose what I had as a boy.)
My heart still has a beat
But love is now a feat.
(As common as a cold day in LA.)
Sometimes when I'm alone, I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing?

Love hurts...
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive.
Love sings,
When it transcends the bad things.
Have a heart and try me,
'cause without love I won't survive.

I'm fettered and abused,
I stand naked and accused
(Should I surface this one man submarine?)
I only want the truth
So tonight we drink to youth!
(I'll never lose what I had as a boy.)
Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing?

Love hurts...
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive.
Love sings,
When it transcends the bad things.
Have a heart and try me,
'cause without love I won't survive.

Hey, you. Yeah, you. What is a friend to you? Why do you say one thing but do the next thing so differently? Are those just sweet talks you send to me? Maybe we had friction from the start. Maybe. Or maybe we were alright but as time passes us by, things change.

High school. What a different life for me. We spent our time during recesses, laughed together and when you cried, I comforted you. I was there for you. I listened to you. Or maybe I was just laughing alone, comforted no one and was there for nothing. Certain times you pushed me away, shut me out. But I didn't complain. Afterall, personal things are personal things; best left untouched. When you had trouble, I came to your aid. I pulled others in along with me. My compassion for you has made other people follow me down the road of nowhere. And my naivity lead us to a big debt.

I remember when I found out you "backstabbed" me by telling the guy I liked that I'm not a good person. A friend. What am I to you? I don't know what exactly you said, but yeah, you could be right. But telling the guy I like? Or maybe you didn't know yet I liked him. Giving a bad impression of me to other people? And I defended you when other people talked crap.

So what happened? Perhaps I shouldn't have doubted you when I did. Perhaps I shouldn't have even talked to you about something personal. Perhaps I shouldn't have criticized too much. But it involves me. Did you ever think of how I would feel? Did you ever think about what other people would think? Are you so lost in your own world that you have forgotten us? The people who helped you, the people who asked what was wrong. But soon we drifted away as we lost contact. As we don't know what in the world is happening next with you.

So what is a friend to you, huh? The people who only give you joy and not critical judgement to improve yourself? The people who spend money on you? The people who don't ask what's happening in your life? A friend. Me. You told the world I was your friend. Yet, I'm not prioritized in your list. You don't update me, you don't tell me your problems. Nothing. Just a simple few sentences of small talk.

And you. The other you. I know you're only trying to tell me what kind of friend I'm having. I know you're only caring. But you don't have to tell me her weak points. I believe that there are things even we can't see. We can't just judge so much. We don't know her. Have we been so personal with her that we know her every thought? That we 100% know her motives? We don't. So please, just leave it be. Let me have my thoughts, my perceptions and my judgement of her.

It was a sunny day that afternoon. The coulds were clear but it was bound to rain. I could feel it and could sense the looming dark clouds floating towards our direction. My senses of these things are always heightened. These kind of things tend to happen during rain, don't they? Ours happened much earlier. Before the rain clouds even came. I was on the left and he was on the right. Both of us different thoughts but with only one goal. To reach whatever we were thinking of. I felt so different. So out of this world. I could only think of getting to bed.



A flash of a sign to go. I knew it, I sensed it, I saw it. I gave a signal. We both moved. I turned myself to the right, towards him. And he went straight on. He was furious, he was fast, he was eager. Bodies clashed, our eyes widened and heart beats accelerated. Air was sucked in- a gasp. Then, my lips spread apart. A breath escaped. He looked at me and I stared right back. Adrenaline pumped. Heart beats. I heard mine. What about him? What do I do? Could this be happening? Right here, on this very sunny day.
It was a memory that was going to be stuck in my mind.
My very first time.
In the middle of... traffic.



And so both of us pulled to the side, came out of our cars and checked the condition of them. His a broken headlamp, sidelamp and a dented fender. Mine?






Oh, the pain! The pain! I could feel it as my wallet rips!

Last Thursday, CIMP's theme was to come in either Pink or Red and it was in support of breast cancer awareness. In fact, this October month is Pink month all around the world! It was fun, everyone had fun, pink ribbons were handed out, flyers were flying and as expected, pictures were taken.


Informational flyers


In support of breast cancer awareness.


Kyle: Adeline... what are you doing?


Me and Adeline in all her pink gloriness.


Try spotting our ribbons. (Adeline doesn't need one cause she's donned fully in pink!)


Wow, this guy is so supportive!

Putting the fun aside, the breast cancer awareness run was really good as it (hopefully) caused many of us to be more open-eyed to this rising seriousness. Now guys, if you think this doesn't apply to you and that you're free from this sort of thing, think again. About 1% of breast cancer cases are males. May not seem like a big number, but you could be in that lucky 1%. The horrors!!! Ok-lah guys, no need worry so much. I was just scaring you.

Breast cancer is the most common case and possibly also the most common cause of death among women in Malaysia. Though breast cancer isn't as common in teens as they are with women over their 40's, it is advisable for all girls and women to be aware of what's going on with their bodies. So ladies (and some rare men), don't be afraid of checking yourself. Early detection is much better than late because chances of survival are high. You can either self-check, get clinical examination, or go for a mammography. Or you could do all 3 if you really want to be sure. Just make sure you have the cash available.

Also note that if you find lumps, don't freak out. They may be there because your body is growing or undergoing hormonal changes. To know more about this and breast cancer, click the links provided below.

So here are the 7 early warning signs of cancer:

• Changes in bowel or bladder habits, such as bleeding, constipation & diarrhoea.
  
• A lump in the neck, bleeding from the nose or changes in hearing.
  
• Abnormal vaginal bleeding and discharge.
  
• A lump, bleeding or changes in the breast or nipple.
  
• Difficulty in swallowing or frequent indigestion & abdominal discomfort.
  
• Bothersome persistent cough or hoarseness of voice.
  
• Sores that do not heal or changes in a mole or wart.
  

Early detection is better than late because there is a cure. However, prevention is better than cure, don't everyone agree? :) To prevent breast cancer is to love your body.

Love!

Lower your risk by:

• Not smoking. If you already do, do quit.
  
• Exercise, exercise, exercise!
  
• Eat more fruits and vegetables.
  
• Maintain a healthy weight.
  
• Manage stress in your life. (Whatever affects you psychologically, affects you physically)
  
• Monthly breast self examinations.
  
• Get mammography screening.
  

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Nifty sites and articles that I went for infos:
Young Adults Program
Outsmart Breast Cancer
Malaysia Oncology
National Cancer Society
Malaysia and Breast Cancer

Here's the third part of the series. The story evolves more here and the ending leaves you in suspense! Still cute. Their names are finally introduced in this part. I think Doki (the rabbit) is really cute. She never seem to give up! Maybe you could try some dating tips from these two? Haha! Credits to SamBakza from Newgrounds.

Haven't watched the second part? Watch There She Is!!! (Step 2)

Due to slow uploading time, the flash will not be posted here. Please click the link below to watch.

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There She Is!! (Part 3)

Here's the second part of the series. Hope you enjoyed the first ^^. This time Mr. Cat finally made an effort to a better relationship!

Again, these flash animations are not mine. They belong to SamBakza from Newgrounds.

Haven't yet watched the first part? Watch There She Is!!! (Step 1)

To pause or stop the flash, right-click on the flash and uncheck the play option.

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If my blog is loading really, really slow despite your fast internet connection, do inform me.

Anyway, I found this while browsing through Newgrounds.com. This flash animation is not mine and all credits goes to SamBakza from Newgrounds. It's a really cute flash animation about a rabbit in love with a cat and the troubles they go through. I know it sounds a little stupid, but try it ;). It's worth the watch. I'll be updating the other parts soon so stay tuned!

To pause or stop the flash, right-click on the flash and uncheck the play option.

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I've always like to listen to stories, especially ones that are almost too absurd to be true or so mysterious and supernatural. I've always, always love the ways of the fictional because you could create just about anything in it.

Sometimes, weird stories could make you laugh. Like an absurb story that slowly forms itself into a joke. Or maybe some stories just make you ponder how in the world it got to that state. A mystery or a spur of stupidity.

When I found this true article about one man's suffering, I learnt that fact could be much weirder than fiction. In fact, in fiction, you would have to somehow make sense. Real life facts however, could be just any darn thing it can.

This one fact is weird, but not as much as it is painful.
(Note: Not for the weak hearted. Or rather, not for the people who cannot stand pain.)

I'm not a guy, but whatever that poor man (well, he asked for it) went through deserves an "Oowww..."! So here comes my time in pondering a couple of Life's anguish and pain. I couldn't, for the mean time, decide which is worse; to push a fully developed baby through the vagina, or having your scrotum ripped and your testis fall out.