“911, what’s your emergency?”

“I think- I think my mom needs help,” I said into the receiver, phone pressed hard against my ear.

“What’s wrong with your mom, honey?” she asked me.

“She’s not moving,” I replied through my sobs. My gaze flicked back to the body slumped on the floor to check again if my mother had moved, even an inch, and that I was calling the lady at the other end of the line for nothing. She did not move at all. I remembered that I had found my guinea pig, Jimmy, one day by the corner of his cage and no matter how much I prod or shoved him, he just wouldn’t budge. Mom had told me he had gone off to a place called heaven, where he had all the good things waiting for him. I was afraid that my mother had gone to the place Jimmy had gone and had left me behind.

“Is she breathing?” I heard her ask. I brought my gaze back to the telephone key pads. The white keys were smeared with red, which were slowly turning brown. I swallowed hard, my breath becoming more and more difficult as heavy tears streamed down the apples of my cheeks. I looked at my mother again to check to see, and hoping with all my heart, if she had moved at all. Nothing. Just her, lying in that big pool of red. I knew then, that all hope was lost.

“No.” I breathed and brought my other hand up to hold the receiver steady. My hands were shaking so badly and they were sticky with sweat and blood. “I think she’s dead.”

***

That was years ago, when I was nine. Two years after my father left and dump the burden of his loan shark debts on us, the year that refused to be forgotten from my memory. My hands were shaking as I dialled 911 for Ethan. I was nervous and fearful, but the concerns were not for him, it was for me.

“911, what’s your emergency?” It took a great effort not to start crying like my eight year old self when I spoke to the person at the other end of the line. I guess what helped a little was that it was a male voice this time and I had to tell myself over and over again that I wasn’t calling about my mother’s murder. I managed to give the situation and what little details Ethan had given me and ended the line, happy to be done.

When I arrived at Roxer Park, two police cruisers were already there with its blue lights flashing as well as a medical team tending to a teenaged girl who was seated in their small ambulance. Ethan was by the bench beside the ladies’ toilet giving his account to a salt-and-peppered hair policeman. The policeman’s partner, or whom I presumed was his partner, was busy keeping the ever growing curious crowd at bay, telling them to go home and that there’s nothing to see. It was him who had stopped me from reaching Ethan, so I had the luxury to pace up and down while waiting for the policeman to finish interviewing him.

I shivered. I never liked scenes like this for it reminded me of things I rather forget. I was studying the cracks on the pavement when a hand landed on my shoulder, making me jump.

There was a chuckle as I turned around to face Ethan.

“I’m sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. Also, sorry for making you wait.”

 “It’s alright,” I waved it off and scanned him for any signs of injuries. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“I’m fine. Some old pervert tried to be funny with that poor girl,” he motioned to the teenager in the ambulance, anger flashing in his eyes. “He’ll be spending his corroded mind in jail.”

“Well, it’s a lucky thing you were there or she’ll be scarred for life.”

“Yeah,” he smiled. I could tell he was happy with a job well done. I breathed a sigh of relief and said, “Well, I’m glad you’re not hurt.”

“I owe you for calling 911 and waiting almost an hour for me,” he said. Behind him a cop was guiding a man in handcuffs to the police cruiser. I scrunched my nose. He did look kind of like a pervert- a dirty pervert in combat boots. My heart stopped. Combat boots.

At that moment I was nine again, hiding behind the big potted plant my mother insisted on keeping beside the television set no matter how ugly I thought it was. She was kneeling down on the carpeted floor, pleading for help and not having the money to pay at the moment. Dark brown combat boots walked into view, there was shouting and before I knew it, I saw the glint of the knife and the gush of blood that spurted out from my mother’s throat. Too scared to scream, too frozen to move, I sat there behind that big plant watching the scene unfold until those combat boots walked out of my view and out of the house. It was the only detail that I ever got of the killer. If only I had just moved a little to get a look at the person’s face, I could have my mother’s murderer locked up. Now, he’s just walking free, probably slaughtering someone else’s-

“Lexie? Hey, you alright?” Ethan’s face came into view as he waved his palm in front of my face. I watched the police cruiser drive away. Ethan turned to look at the cruiser too and then turn back to me. “You recognise the guy or something?”

“N-no,” I stuttered and turned back to Ethan whose facial features looked like a cross between worried and puzzled. Feeling embarrassed for acting like a nut case, I pulled my full attention on Ethan and cleared my throat.  “Just that he had something that reminded me of something.”

“What is it?”

“You know what? It’s nothing,” I waved a hand nonchalantly, waving the issue away. “I guess I’m… hungry! When I’m hungry, I act really weird. Let’s get something to eat.”

“Okay…” he said slowly, still checking to see if I was alright. I smiled to reassure him and to my relief, he continued. “As I was saying earlier, there’s this great pizza place just a few blocks from here. They just opened but the food is great! My treat.”

“Fantastic,” I replied. We both walked the few blocks down to a place called Tony’s Pizzeria. Ethan dominated most of our conversations. In fact, I could not remember most of it or what I said. I tried to act as normal as possible wishing that Ethan wouldn’t start asking if I was okay again. The scene that happened years ago had been revived and now fresh in my mind. Where was the killer now? I felt a strong urge to find out, but I didn’t know where to start.

Before I knew it, it was evening and Ethan was walking me to my car. I remember mumbling something about having a fun time and then I was home. I crashed in bed, with a million questions in my mind before I drifted off to sleep and into a nightmare.