Life. No matter how much we try to control it, steer it and veer it, you just cannot.
Ideally, we would want life to be in a linear fashion. This should happen, and next this one, and the next that one... But sometimes life just goes round in circles. And the moment you thought you are getting somewhere, you find out you are back at square one.
Build it, nurture it, tame it, Life is the Richard Parker of Life of Pi. Bearable, able to exist with, but unpredictable, untamed. You can never fully control it, bend it to your will. Not 100%.
When I set my pen on paper, or my fingers to the computer keyboard, I feel free. Free to express, free to create. It is my world, a world where I can control as much as I like, run free as much as I like.
But I'm not like that in real life. My courage, my thousand and one words comes only when I have a medium, and that medium is writing. Then again, what happens when there's a limit to how much you can express? When you know that you cannot reveal everything, yet wanting the reader to know something. When feelings and ideas run too complicated and deep that you can barely grasp at the words that come by.
Writing is limited, but the Mind, limitless. So many things in just 5 seconds can happen in the mind, but with 5 seconds, I can only manage to type one sentence. I love writing, but I wish, there was something that can bring out a thought in an instant.
Constrained, the Self pulls itself back from where the Heart wants to be. Information from the Brain has told the Mind to lock up the Heart before damage could be done. It was locked, pacing and anticipating its release.
Day by day, its hope slowly diminish and its gait becomes of a low pace. Soon, out of luck, an urgent matter. Either it was a real necessity or the Heart had managed to manipulate its way out, the place the Heart wants to be soon became tangible. And how perfectly tangible it was.
It felt as if, after a long, long while, thirst was quenched by the refreshing waters from the mountains. The Heart had been released and away, away, with great speed, it goes to where it wants to be. How warm, how contented it was. A moment of bliss, of joy- a rarity to gain, the hardest to maintain. How it loves the place that it wants to be. A simple joy turned great.
If only, if only... the Heart could stay where it wanted to be. But the visit was short, the joy, brief. Soon, the Heart was pulled back again, to be put in the cells that once again, hold it captive.
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